Personal Development

The Purpose of Learning Resilience

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Business Coaching, Career Coaching, Executive Coaching Services, Group Training, Leadership Development, Management Development, Personal Development Comments Off on The Purpose of Learning Resilience

In this present day and with the days to come one thing is certain…..UNCERTAINTY


CHANGE happens in life…family, health, finance, home, work, friends, community, country and the world. Its a natural phenomena and cycle yet we have not learned to embrace it unless we have an assured positive outcome. 

Uncertainty of not knowing what is to come and how it be is uncomfortable for most of us. A few of us thrive on it. The adrenaline rush that uncertainty creates can be harnessed and focused for a specific outcome, an end goal we decide and wish to attain. I am referring to the competitive athlete who is dedicated and trains tenaciously to attempt to achieve their greatest win to triumph over themselves and others. They then are focused on using that ENERGY to spur them on to their next CHALLENGE.

Uncertainty tends to evoke an inner dialogue which then directs our thoughts. More often than not this uncertainty brews anxiety in our minds which then reflects  and is manifested in our bodies. As our thoughts reiterate and spiral out of CONTROL repeating automatically it feels like we have lost control and choice of our destiny. In the moment of contemplation and realisation it turns to fear of the unknown.

Some of us have learned the ability to rationalise and mindfully acknowledge the unknown. Most of us have never been shown or taught this life lesson and so the result is F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real

The good news its that our thoughts are powerful and we have the CHOICE  to direct them mindfully.

* So how important is flexibility? * How is flexibility connected to resilience? * What’s the Purpose of Resilience?


So is it about survival of the fittest in this competitive fast paced life?  It about taking ACTION to learn the strategies to help yourself.

Learning about Resilience shows us how to 

  1. Be more able, agile and responsible
  2. Cope better with challenges and change
  3. Think more innovatively, positively and optimistically
  4. Manage emotions and stress levels
  5. Improve personal wellbeing and life balance
  6. Help make a positive difference.

Learning how to be resilient will enable us to address the uncertainty and flow with the tides to accept the inevitable.

Resilience is having the ability to bounce back, get up and go on with PURPOSE.



A journey of a thousand steps…

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Personal Development, Pinterest Comments Off on A journey of a thousand steps…

“Step be step there is that step which is conducive to the next step” a wise and spiritual soul uttered this wisdom and it stopped me in my tracks.

A Journey of a thousand steps The idea that we cannot change the past by rewriting it except for in our memory gives both a powerful and humbling opportunity in the present. It reveals our strengths and human flaws unequivocally if we are ready to admit to them and opens us up to feedback. The point of this past review is to focus on the learning and use it to your advantage in your present moment.

Just to clarify, the present moment means we are rooted in the here and now. We are not running the movie projector of our past or future which can work to either motivate us or instil fear and disable us in our precious present moment.

This step in our journey into the present moment needs us to ideally accept the way it is and not distort it with our thoughts. It may not be the ideal present we would have chosen however it is what it is.

It takes inner calm to stay in the moment and not ruminate over the past victories, lost loves, hurts and regrets which constantly shadow our mind and heart with “if only” or “why”.

It takes focus to stay in the present moment and not be ruled by distant future of security, uncertainty, scarcity and above all fear of the not being enough. This is truly disempowering.

Somehow as humans we seem to gravitate to the negative emotions faster and almost habitually. It does not serve us to be this way so we need to consciously choose to redirect our thoughts to the positive way of life.

Finding meaning and hope in the present moment is based on faith. Faith in yourself, in the highest good and the universe to provide all that you need and desire.  Is this blue sky thinking or practical? Well our thoughts direct our first step in the journey. Choose wisely.

It’s when we lose that faith that our darkest fears undermine us and slay us. Our faith is the thread that runs through us and connects us to others. It gives us meaning and substance to exist amongst humanity as equal and worthy.

Each step brings us in to our present moment which gives us choice about how we respond in it. If truth be shared then most of the time I am feeling ok and positive. Yet there are some dark periods where the change and growth cycle seems unbearable and never ending. What I have learned is that my experiences both positive and negative are a necessary part of constantly transitioning to the light and hope. This is where faith plays a big part in keeping me centred and in the present moment.

Life does throw up challenges and surprises with people, events and situations. Nothing ever seems to stay the same. Technology has also added to the speed of change we experience in our daily lives.

How can we handle what comes? Just by knowing and remembering that “step be step there that step which is conducive to the next step”. This knowledge gives makes a mindful connection to the present moment where all the power and choice exists for you to manage your response to life.

A useful suggestion is to connect to the present moment through awareness of your senses and flow of breath.

Connect in gratitude and accept all that you are inside and out. It’s a step to realise how amazing we all are already.

Learning Styles – aha moments

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Business Coaching, Career Coaching, Executive Coaching Services, Group Training, Leadership Development, Management Development, Mentoring, Personal Development Comments Off on Learning Styles – aha moments

The value of communicating effectively comes from knowing how we learn.

Learning Style Quote

Knowing how we process information and learn directly translates to our personality and character.

Our verbal and non verbal communication reflects our learning styles.

4 Types of Learning Style: * Activist  *  Reflector  *  Theorist  *  Pragmatist

By becoming aware of your own dominant and secondary style it will help to appreciate how are brains are hard wired and why we respond the way we do. It may be a natural or learned response.

Next try to identify the learning styles of your colleagues, your partner, siblings, friends or children.   This insight will give you an opportunity to change your approach to get a positive response from them.

I recall becoming frustrated and feeling like a child when I was not being understood and listened to. In hindsight I realise my style of communication did not match theirs and so it felt like they did not care to listen or understand my point of view. This impacted how I felt about myself at the time and I carried this experience as reality for a very long time.  I did not know any better.

The learning process comes from our experiences and the opportunity to learn from how we all process information differently has helped me value our differences.  Luckily the opportunity to tweak my style and align myself with other person happens in every conversation. This awareness helps me to improve and it could help you to be more effective in your communication approach to. It certainly helps me to feel better about myself and in the process show my respect of their style too by listening and understanding them better.

Activists like to be involved in new experiences. They are open minded and enthusiastic about new ideas but get bored with implementation. They enjoy doing things and tend to act first and consider the implications afterwards. They like working with others but tend to hog the limelight.

Activists learn best when:

  • involved in new experiences, problems and opportunities
  • working with others in business games, team tasks, role-playing
  • being thrown in the deep end with a difficult task
  • chairing meetings, leading discussions 

Activists learn less when:

  • listening to lectures or long explanations
  • reading, writing or thinking on their own
  • absorbing and understanding data
  • following precise instruction to the letter

Reflectors like to stand back and look at a situation from different perspectives. They like to collect data and think about it carefully before coming to any conclusions. They enjoy observing others and will listen to their views before offering their own.

Reflectors learn best when:

  • observing individuals or groups at work
  • they have the opportunity to review what has happened and thing about what they have learned
  • producing analyses and reports doing tasks without tight deadlines 

Reflectors learn less when:

  • acting as leader or role-playing in front of others
  • doing things with no time to prepare
  • being thrown in at the deep end
  • being rushed or worried by deadlines

Theorists adapt and integrate observations into complex and logically sound theories. They think problems through in a step by step way. They tend to be perfectionists who like to fit things into a rational scheme. They tend to be detached and analytical rather than subjective or emotive in their thinking.

Theorists learn best when:

  • they are put in complex situations where they have to use their skills & knowledge
  • they are in structured situations with clear purpose
  • they are offered interesting ideas or concepts even though they are not immediately relevant
  • they have the chance to question and probe ideas behind things 

Theorists learn less when:

  • they have to participate in situations which emphasise emotion and feelings
  • the activity is unstructured or briefing is poor
  • they have to do things without knowing the principles or concepts involved
  • they feel they’re out of tune with the other participants e.g. with people of very different learning styles

Pragmatists are keen to try things out. They want concepts that can be applied to their job. They tend to be impatient with lengthy discussions and are practical and down to earth.

Pragmatists learn best when:

  • there is an obvious link between the topic and job
  • they have the chance to try out techniques with feedback e.g. role-playing
  • they are shown techniques with obvious advantages e.g. saving time
  • they are shown a model they can copy e.g. a film or a respected boss 

Pragmatists learn less when:

  • there is no obvious or immediate benefit that they can recognise
  • there is no practice or guidelines on how to do it
  • there is no apparent pay back to the learning e.g. shorter meetings
  • the event or learning is ‘all theory’

To work on learning your style and changing your approach to get the most out of people and relationships get in

Eight Ways to Create Wealth like…

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Business Coaching, Career Coaching, Executive Coaching Services, Group Training, Leadership Development, Management Development, Mentoring, Personal Development Comments Off on Eight Ways to Create Wealth like…

Role Models and great examples are important to identify with, to benchmark what is possible and challenge us to stretch beyond and out of the box we create.

They exist to influence and motivate the actions to tap into your potential and grow towards your wealth ambitions. Remember wealth  is classified as monetary value yet it includes the value of people, experience, opportunities and memories created along the way.

Successful people are passionate, disciplined and focused on achieving their outcomes. They define their growth with a plan of action and an inspiring vision. It means embracing change and often being the change.

  1. What and who inspires you to change and grow into your very best?
  2. What are you doing about it?
  3. Have you started on your ambition or still making an excuse?

Role Model

  1. The Creator – Builds innovative products                                  Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Richard Branson
  2. The Star – Builds an influential brand                                         Oprah, Paul Newman, Bill Clinton
  3. The Supporter – Builds high performance teams                     Steve Ballmer, Jack Welch
  4. The Deal Maker – Brings deals together                                   Donald Trump, Rupert Murdoch
  5. The Trader – Buying and selling commodities                         George Soros
  6. The Accumulator – Buying and holding assets                        Warren Buffet, Paul Allen
  7. The Lord – Controlling cashflow producing assets                    Lakshmi Mital, Ingavar Kamprad
  8. The Mechanic – Creating a system that can be duplicated     Michael Dell, Ray Krock

Career Advancement Relies on Effective Non-verbal Communication

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Business Coaching, Career Coaching, Executive Coaching Services, Group Training, Leadership Development, Management Development, Mentoring, Personal Development Comments Off on Career Advancement Relies on Effective Non-verbal Communication

The top traits employers look for when hiring or promoting a candidate for management are confidence, professionalism and enthusiasm.

“First impressions count”. Whoever said it was right. We can never underestimate the lasting power and impression our behaviour makes. That impression has the potential to create opportunities far beyond a future you can imagine. 

Learning to express ourselves started at a young age and the response we had helped us to change and adapt our communication styles so that we achieved what we wanted. The downside of this type of learning is that we may have picked up habits we are unaware which affects the quality of the connection we make with others.

The following pointers are there for you to understand and assess if you can adapt it in your approach as the benefits of communicating effectively through non verbal behaviour will pay back lasting career dividends.

Express yourself effectively to send the right non-verbal cues.

Good eye contact:  Eye contact is your primary tool for establishing non-verbal connections with others. It communicates your level of involvement, interest and warmth.

A confident handshake:  Communicating through touch is another important non-verbal behavior. Always put your hand out to shake hands. A firm handshake will make and leave a lasting and positive impression.

Effective gestures: A gesture is any physical movement that helps express an idea, opinion or emotion. Strive to punctuate your words with movement that is natural, lively, purposeful and spontaneous.

Dressing the part: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. If career advancement is your goal, convey a polished professional presence in the workplace. Pay attention to small details as they will notice.

Authoritative posture and presence: When you stand up tall and straight, you send a message of self-assurance, authority and energy. Good posture creates a dynamic commanding presence and an attitude of leadership.

Appropriate facial expressions: As your facial expressions are closely tied to emotion, they are often involuntary and unconscious. To show you are paying attention while listening, hold a very slight smile, nod occasionally, and maintain good eye contact.

Break the ice and initiate interactions: Be the first to make eye contact, offer your hand to shake, have an idea or solution, go into a room, smile and make the call. Make the first impression count.

Appropriate voice tone: “It’s not what you but how you said it”. Non-verbal elements of your voice include voice tone, pacing, pausing, volume, inflection, pitch and how you articulate. It conveys emotional meaning, attitude and impact which will make an impression which lasts.

Giving pure attention: This conveys attentiveness and creates open body language. Lean into the conversation; focus your eyes, ears and energy on them as it conveys your respect, honour and appreciation to meet with them. Make sure your arms and legs are uncrossed.

Responding to others’ non-verbal cues: When leading a meeting, speaking to a group, or interacting one-on-one always pay close attention to the other person’s  body, language, voice and tone.  Note their eyes as they can tell you when they have a question, want to say something, agree or disagree, need a break, require more explanation, or have an emotional response.  By responding appropriately to others’ cues, you not only convey confidence in yourself, you show a high level of empathy, sensitivity and care for them which results in building trust.


The Entrepreneurial Mindset

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Business Coaching, Career Coaching, Executive Coaching Services, Group Training, Leadership Development, Management Development, Mentoring, Personal Development, Pinterest Comments Off on The Entrepreneurial Mindset

We are all potentially entrepreneurs. We all have our unique personality traits with the essential entrepreneurial qualities embedded within us. We also have the ability to develop the skills to be entrepreneurial. We have to choose to elevate our qualities and focus on mastering the skills to start and learn from experience itself.

Whilst some are naturally inclined to be entrepreneurial, for others it’s a choice to become it. Entrepreneurial mind-sets are not born they are developed.

Entrepreneurial thinking is directly influenced and inspired by people, places and situations. They see problems as opportunities. A want or a desire is a possibility waiting to be fulfilled.

Whilst the underlying motivation to meet that need or develop an idea maybe monetary the reality is more about proving to yourself and others that it’s possible.  The challenge to make a difference and improve life experience is the real motivator. The thought of potentially offering a product or service is to improve the experience of life is too tempting to resist.

Now for those who are risk aversive well they may falter in committing to the unknown and uncertain future. Yet it’s also possible that they may mitigate their risks with a fool proof plan and plough ahead too. The reality is that the “What if…possibility” is an inseparable part of a passion and dream that often won’t let you sleep at night.

It’s strange or perhaps not how the universe conspires through people, thinking, ideas and everyday scenarios to make things happen so that our entrepreneurial spirit can try and rise up deliver the possible. Entrepreneurism makes even the impossible possible. It’s always about a great good at the end.

Entrepreneurial Mindset includes…

1          Passionate, Energised and Inspired

“Choose a job that you love and you will never have to work a day in your life”
                                                                                                            – Confucius

2          Empowered, Confident and willing to take Opportunities

“There is no such thing as luck. Luck is where preparation meets opportunity”
                                                                                                            – Amy Hempel

3          Take ownership of your destiny

“The best way to predict the future is to create the future”
                                                                                        – Peter Drucker

4          Timely decision making and risk taking

“Only those who will rick going too far can possibly find out how far one can go”
                                                                                                                          – T.S. Elliot

5          Leadership & Vision

“Leadership is taking responsibility whilst others are making excuses”
                                                                                                           – John C Maxwell

6          Discipline & Hard Work ethic

“Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration”
                                                        – Thomas Eddision


7          Being adaptive, Continuous Learning & Curiosity

 “Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world”
                                                                                                                – Nelson Mandela

8          People & Happiness

 “The greatest happiness for the greatest numbers”
                                                                               – Vedic principle

What other qualities and skills to entrepreneurs need to be successful?

This list is not definitive it’s infinite like the entrepreneurial mind.

Have a Dream

Improving Performance: Always Room to Improve

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Business Coaching, Career Coaching, Executive Coaching Services, Leadership Development, Management Development, Mentoring, Personal Development Comments Off on Improving Performance: Always Room to Improve

Stairway to successWe all know that successful goal attainment require Practice, Persistence and Focus. All goals are shaped by possibility.

The need and desire to improve as a goal can be found in almost any aspect of our personal and professional lives and at any age.

Examples of these can be found in the kitchen to improve cooking skills, playing computer games to competing in sports, getting the job despite competition, at work presenting confidently without getting too nervous, in your business making decisions to develop your peoples capability, increasing sales and the customers satisfaction levels, how about just being on time for the train or meeting every day, or studying and revising for the penultimate dreaded exams and in remembering important little things like birthdays and special anniversaries…as you can see this list on what we could improve goes on and on!

 3 Facts about Improving

1.     Improving is based on a need, want & desire to be HAPPY.

2.     Improving is based on the potential to be, to do or have more to feel HAPPY.

3.     Improving is motivated by thoughts of infinite possibilities of being HAPPY.

What keeps us striving for more and being better?

Well we don’t admire doing nothing. We also fear losing what we have or could have. We don’t like the thought of leading a life of regrets and if only’s….

Some points to consider…

  •  Doing nothing is wasting potential, in life and in the present moment.
  •  We have the free will to decide and have choices to empower us.
  •  Striving to fulfil possibility and potential is a natural law of success.


The good news is that our curious nature will not allow us to do nothing. This type of apathy is met with conflict in the internal chambers of your heart. We may try to ignore our calling to improve however it will cost us our happiness and that cost is too high!

So to reiterate improving performance needs goals which need: Practice, Persistence and Focus to achieve.

It important for these improvement goals to be truly compelling as 90% of its successful is based on WHY we want them in the first place?

In essence we need: To know our purpose to truly engage our heart. So our goals must be inspiring to rouse our passions and motivate us to take action towards achieving them.

Once you know why you want to achieve your goals then you need to focus on How you attain them. This part is the nitty gritty 10% of how you will make it happen.

So we then need to ask & answer 5 fundamental questions to help us improve:

1.     Where are we headed?                             => Define the goal(s), get clear

2.     What do we need to do?                           => Action plans / to do list

3.     How can I do it and make a difference?    => Your personal values

4.     What’s in it for me?                                   => Rewards and benefits

5.     Who can help me?                                    => Network of people, your supporters

Improving is based on the possibility to change performance through Practice, Persistence and Focus get do something, do it ok, to good and to great!

Be warned it’s easy to slip down from trying to keep up with this on-going improvement process as we lose our focus and other life stuff takes up our priority. So it’s helpful to have your network of supporters who believe in you like your friends, family, personal coach and mentors to call upon and help you stay, improve or get back to your personal peak performance level.

Striving to improve is a soft action which needs to be practiced persistently and with focus daily.

To achieve our greater potential we need to customise and personalise our goals. To deliver and sustain our improvement goals we need to collaborate.

The power of collaboration extends beyond what you can see as possible to include the imagination and ideas of those who can envision, think and support your bigger infinite goals of happiness.


The truth about Self Confidence and the stories we believe to be true

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Personal Development Comments Off on The truth about Self Confidence and the stories we believe to be true

Are you feeling good about yourself?

Are you taking on new challenges?

Are you taking steps towards your goals?

It takes self-confidence to act on your hopes, aspirations and potential.

Being self confident is built on a self-belief and a strong will power.

Self confidence shows when…

  1. it makes you willing to listen to others points of view
  2. it keeps you open to change your mind if it is the right thing to do
  3. it gives you clarity to make a decision at the right time
  4. it helps you to trust yourself pick the best team for the job and then trust them to do it
  5. it focuses you to tackle the big issues first
  6. it leads you to where you want to be and others to follow in faith
  7. you feel good

Self confidence is an innate quality in us all. It’s our uniting bond. We each have our unique experience of life and the role models whom we encounter on our journey that helps to shape and nurture that confidence or counteractively destroy it by creating and following a path of a gloom and self destruction.

As we live fully or with fear it may not be evident to us that we defining our character and carving away or creating our self confidence along the way. We have no conscious awareness that these every day experiences are forming our belief system about our own confidence levels.

It often occurs that our life experiences determine our belief in our own lack. So it relies on the stories we tell ourselves about what happened and who did or said what which then knocked our self confidence to the ground. It’s as if we were pawns being manipulated and had no power to choose our path or how we could respond differently if at all.

If by chance our life experiences have not shown us how to create a positive self regard often and in addition our self value was derived from others who praised or criticised us then it made it easier for us to buy into the myth that we are both passive and powerless in the process of building or crushing our self confidence. Hence the formative years of our childhood experience influences our adult lives and provides us with poor life coping strategies.

In our present our recall and influence of positive people, their words and actions holds a special key to our levels of feeling the self confidence.  Another and more powerful key to our self confidence is the belief we invested in those people, their words and actions experienced as negative.  Despite not being great admirable role models in our minds or hearts we seemed to have set them aside and placed them all on a pedestal and given them importance and undue credit!

Invariably both positive and negative people, words and behaviours leaves an indelible impression and so naturally our innate confidence can either grow or wither away. Now just imagine your confidence growing majestically towards the sun like a glorious sunflower or withering & struggling in the cold winter.

The most important thing about self confidence is that it can be built and rebuilt. Once our self confidence is built positively it needs to be nurtured for it to remain intact and keep growing towards the light. If our positive confidence waivers and gets a little lost well that’s when we need to revisit it like an old friend to reconnect and revitalise that valued friendship.

Exploring and delving into your stories, beliefs and the myths that you have spent your life believing can be a worthy exercise if kept focused on the positive experiences and learning.

“The unexamined life is not worth living” – Plato

Often we slip back into our stories that we have crafted, embellished and believed as true today as the day it happened. The fact that replaying some of these tales does not serve us and does not bring out our innate self confidence is because we get caught up in the emotions it stirs inside us.

* So how do we sort out the stories from the learning? Not alone.

* What’s the benefit of revisiting self limiting beliefs? Seek it and you will find it.

* What can you possibly hope to gain from it? Your Self Confidence of course!

It takes courage to address the past. It takes a willingness to be open and learn from the past.  The process of enquiry unlocks the hope of finding your innate self confidence. How? Well, it sheds light on our fears which are not real and our delusions. Inevitably it helps to become aware of our shadow side to be able to accept us as a whole being. We learn that rejecting ourselves through harsh judgement does not pay back in kind and so we learn self compassion, forgiveness and acceptance.

Working on your beliefs and exploring new perspectives is the key to re-engaging with your innate self confidence.

A coach/mentor is invested in helping you to access your self confidence which enables you to lead yourself to live your best life. Together practical and current strategies that fit your personality and habits are written by you so that you start owning the powerful keys to your self confidence.

The opportunity exists to create and write your new self confidence stories and be a positive role model of your highest conscious self.

“Even when walking in the company of two other men, I am bound to be able to learn from them. The good points of the one I copy; the bad points of the other I correct in myself. “– Confucius

Personal Formula for Success

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Executive Coaching Services, Leadership Development, Management Development, Personal Development, Pinterest Comments Off on Personal Formula for Success

SuccessWinners like competitors understand the importance of having a plan. Characteristics common to people who succeed are…

Vision: Champions get what they want because they know what they want. They have a vision that keeps them motivated and efficiently on track. They see it, feel it, and experience it in their minds and hearts.

Strategy: People who consistently succeed have a clear and thoughtful strategy. They know what they need to do and when they need to do it. They write it down, check if they are on course and avoid any alternative that does not get them closer to the goal.

Passion: People with a passion are excited and energised about what they are doing. You need to live and breathe what it is that you want, and be passionately invested in both the journey and the goal.

Truth: People who consistently achieve have no room in their lives for denial, fantasy or fiction. They are self-critical rather than self-deluding. They hold themselves to high but realistic standards. They deal with the truth to make their vision obtainable.

Flexibility: Life both business and personal is not a success-only journey. Even the best-laid plans sometimes must be altered and changed. Be open to input and consider any potentially viable alternative. Be willing to be wrong and be willing to start over.

Risk: Successful people are willing to get out of their comfort zone and try new things. Be willing to plunge into the unknown if necessary, and leave behind the safe, unchallenging, and familiar existence in order to have more.

Inner Circle: Surround yourself with a group of people who want you to succeed. They will move with you toward your goal. Choose and bond with people who have skills, talents and abilities that you do not. Winners give and receive by being part of other people’s inner circle.

Action: Do it! People who succeed don’t just sit and think about what they want to do. They take meaningful, purposeful, directional action consistently and persistently. Every step they take takes them closer to the outcome they want.

Priorities: Winners manage their challenges. They focus, manage and commit their time and energy to doing the important things. They are aware so they don’t spend time on priority number 2 or 3 if priority number ONE needs their attention.

Self-management: People who consistently succeed consciously and pointedly take care of themselves as individuals. They are the most important resource they have in achieving their goals. They actively manage their mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health.

What characteristics do you have?

Which ones do you need to develop to succeed?

If developing yourself means success, who could stop you?