The truth about Self Confidence and the stories we believe to be true

Are you feeling good about yourself?

Are you taking on new challenges?

Are you taking steps towards your goals?

It takes self-confidence to act on your hopes, aspirations and potential.

Being self confident is built on a self-belief and a strong will power.

Self confidence shows when…

  1. it makes you willing to listen to others points of view
  2. it keeps you open to change your mind if it is the right thing to do
  3. it gives you clarity to make a decision at the right time
  4. it helps you to trust yourself pick the best team for the job and then trust them to do it
  5. it focuses you to tackle the big issues first
  6. it leads you to where you want to be and others to follow in faith
  7. you feel good

Self confidence is an innate quality in us all. It’s our uniting bond. We each have our unique experience of life and the role models whom we encounter on our journey that helps to shape and nurture that confidence or counteractively destroy it by creating and following a path of a gloom and self destruction.

As we live fully or with fear it may not be evident to us that we defining our character and carving away or creating our self confidence along the way. We have no conscious awareness that these every day experiences are forming our belief system about our own confidence levels.

It often occurs that our life experiences determine our belief in our own lack. So it relies on the stories we tell ourselves about what happened and who did or said what which then knocked our self confidence to the ground. It’s as if we were pawns being manipulated and had no power to choose our path or how we could respond differently if at all.

If by chance our life experiences have not shown us how to create a positive self regard often and in addition our self value was derived from others who praised or criticised us then it made it easier for us to buy into the myth that we are both passive and powerless in the process of building or crushing our self confidence. Hence the formative years of our childhood experience influences our adult lives and provides us with poor life coping strategies.

In our present our recall and influence of positive people, their words and actions holds a special key to our levels of feeling the self confidence.  Another and more powerful key to our self confidence is the belief we invested in those people, their words and actions experienced as negative.  Despite not being great admirable role models in our minds or hearts we seemed to have set them aside and placed them all on a pedestal and given them importance and undue credit!

Invariably both positive and negative people, words and behaviours leaves an indelible impression and so naturally our innate confidence can either grow or wither away. Now just imagine your confidence growing majestically towards the sun like a glorious sunflower or withering & struggling in the cold winter.

The most important thing about self confidence is that it can be built and rebuilt. Once our self confidence is built positively it needs to be nurtured for it to remain intact and keep growing towards the light. If our positive confidence waivers and gets a little lost well that’s when we need to revisit it like an old friend to reconnect and revitalise that valued friendship.

Exploring and delving into your stories, beliefs and the myths that you have spent your life believing can be a worthy exercise if kept focused on the positive experiences and learning.

“The unexamined life is not worth living” – Plato

Often we slip back into our stories that we have crafted, embellished and believed as true today as the day it happened. The fact that replaying some of these tales does not serve us and does not bring out our innate self confidence is because we get caught up in the emotions it stirs inside us.

* So how do we sort out the stories from the learning? Not alone.

* What’s the benefit of revisiting self limiting beliefs? Seek it and you will find it.

* What can you possibly hope to gain from it? Your Self Confidence of course!

It takes courage to address the past. It takes a willingness to be open and learn from the past.  The process of enquiry unlocks the hope of finding your innate self confidence. How? Well, it sheds light on our fears which are not real and our delusions. Inevitably it helps to become aware of our shadow side to be able to accept us as a whole being. We learn that rejecting ourselves through harsh judgement does not pay back in kind and so we learn self compassion, forgiveness and acceptance.

Working on your beliefs and exploring new perspectives is the key to re-engaging with your innate self confidence.

A coach/mentor is invested in helping you to access your self confidence which enables you to lead yourself to live your best life. Together practical and current strategies that fit your personality and habits are written by you so that you start owning the powerful keys to your self confidence.

The opportunity exists to create and write your new self confidence stories and be a positive role model of your highest conscious self.

“Even when walking in the company of two other men, I am bound to be able to learn from them. The good points of the one I copy; the bad points of the other I correct in myself. “- Confucius

Posted on by Sonia Khera in Personal Development